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When Grief Feels Like Relief

Jennifer Beckman, LCSW, CSW-G, CCM, Care Services Coordinator – Social Worker, ALS United Greater Chicago

Grief can bring out a variety of emotions. People often experience sadness, anger, anxiety, fear and loneliness just to name a few. One of the more complex emotions that is often shared with me is relief–which is often followed by guilt for feeling the relief. Watching our loved ones suffer through ALS is one of the most traumatic things we can witness and experience. And as we watch this loved one suffer and experience all of the losses that we know accompany this disease, we may find ourselves wishing it would end.

After the loss of your loved one you should not feel guilty for finding relief. It does not mean that you have less care or love for the person that is gone. It does not mean that the pain you feel is any softer or lasts for a shorter amount of time.

Feelings of relief and guilt are a complicated part of the grieving process. These feelings may bring up a variety of emotions that may be difficult to manage. Here are some ways to manage these thoughts and feelings:

  • Reframe your thought: You are not relieved that your loved one has died. Instead, you are relieved that a time in your life (and theirs), that has been consumed with stress, uncertainty, and suffering, is now over.
  • Take care of yourself: Get the recommended amount of sleep, eat healthy, exercise, prioritize your mental health, schedule regular doctor’s appointments.
  • Connect with Others: Talk to a trusted support person or join the Always Loved and Supported Bereavement group.

The death of a loved one can bring up a variety of unresolved or complicated emotions. If you feel like you are struggling to cope with grief or could benefit from additional support, please reach out to ALS United Greater Chicago. We are here to help you navigate your grief.

ALS United Greater Chicago can offer up to three individual sessions and/or connect you with an outpatient therapist.

Additionally, The Always Loved and Supported Bereavement virtual support group meets every 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7:00-8:30 pm CT. The meeting is held via Zoom and you may join by visiting alsunitedchicago.org/calendar.

For questions regarding the group or additional support, please reach out to me, Jennifer Beckman, LCSW, CSW-G, CCM at 309-261-7052 or via email at jennifer @ alsunitedchicago .org.

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